For our young son, food aversion stemmed from not always have enough to eat before he came to us. He ate all meals sitting in my lap for every meal for over a year because the high chair caused so much dysregulation. I would say 90%+ of all he ate, I fed to him with a spoon. And most of the time we could barely get him to eat. Struggles continued as he got older and looked like tears at dinner EVERY night. I was ready to give up about a year and a half ago.
I read the book, Love Me, Feed Me, and it was transformational. We started using the Trust Model, and if he didn’t want to eat dinner, we started telling him, “No problem! We are not going to make you eat anything! We just want to hang out with you.” Gradually, he would get up to the table … and always eat.
Shortly thereafter, I started hearing, “Mom, I’m hungry.” I freaking wanted to throw a party!!!! Bye-bye food aversion!
We also started to have dinners without tears! And then, our one-year old foster daughter was placed with us (about 9 months ago).
Well, she loves to eat. LOVES to eat. It’s like a hobby which coincidentally has more or less aligned with another uptick in our son’s appetite. He’s been eating like a CHAMP.
Well, last night, I made a yummy dinner. We had Taco Night with homemade refried beans and homemade Mexican rice. All from scratch. SO good.
Anyway, our son, formerly the reluctant eater, was scarfing it!!! He had thirds!! Anyway, toward the end of his first plate, he was just going on and on about what a great meal it was, how much he liked it, etc.. I very nearly cried. I told him how much I love to make good things for him to eat, and that it means so much to me to see him eating so happily now. Well, he threw himself in my lap, told me he loves me TWICE, and gave me a big kiss on the lips. I rarely get much affection like that, and certainly the words “I love you” are extremely rare from him.
I’ve been savoring it ever since. I honestly think food is akin to a love language for him!!
Submitted by a reader.
What are the toughest food struggles in your house?
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