Image courtesy of KROMKRATHOG / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Below is a collection of various blog posts meant to encourage, inspire or educate. Grab a steaming mug of hot liquid this weekend and steal away to a quiet corner for some quick reads.
There are some in the adoption and foster care community who believe that if you just love your kids enough, and if you can get enough distance from their trauma (relational, physical, or any other), that they will graduate from their behaviors. I think that’s where many people go wrong, our kids need to heal instead of just move on from one stage of their lives to the next. Besides, where is the evidence that supports that way of thinking?
Play full of laughter can quickly restore an affectionate connection between adult and child.
This kind of play, which I like to call Playlistening, eases tensions and helps parent and child dissolve power struggles and daily upsets.
So, rather than tell your child what to do in a serious, adult-like tone, try to find a way to playfully take the less powerful role. As your child begins to laugh, continue to play that role, doing precisely what makes her laugh over and over again.
Connected parenting rejects fear based models, and replaces fear with love. Negative behaviors are recognized as maladaptive attempts to get needs met, sometimes including the need to survive. Instead of coercing compliance with behavioral expectations, connected parenting seeks to provide felt safety, and confidence that needs will be met, so that the maladaptive behaviors are no longer needed.